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What to do for exercise when you don't want to be outside in the freezing rain, below zero temperatures or knee-deep mud? An exercise bike is just the thing, so we got a Schwinn Airdyne. The fellow who sold it to us noted that his company had supplied several of the same model to Purdue University's athletic department, and had never had one that needed repair. After looking at the Airdyne, this is no big surprise: it's heavy-duty construction all the way. Unlike some other exercise bikes I've seen, the "handlebars" on this one turn the wheel, too so you can work your arms, legs or both. And it's got a nifty computer that keeps track of all sorts of stuff; mph, watts, calories burned, distance traveled, etc., etc.
Ours is parked upstairs in the loft, right outside my office. Right now, I'm riding about ten miles a day, working myself up to a goal of twenty miles a day. Since the Airdyne uses air resistance (drag) to resist motion, the resistance increases as your speed increases. As I remember, this is a square function, but don't quote me on that. I've been doing most of my riding at around thirteen mph; got it up to a little over 22 mph but that's as fast as I've been able to go so far.
I've been riding several times a day for about a month. Initially, I figured it might get sort of boring, but so far this hasn't been the case. I suppose I could rig a TV so I could watch it, but this doesn't have much appeal for me. A computer program that would allow you to run over certain people in virtual space would be pretty cool, though; something along the lines of "Grand Theft Auto" but with a bike. You'd get more points for politicians...
If you live in the midwest, chances are you need something to relieve the effects of the wet, cold and monochromatic winter. And a Carrie Newcomer concert is just the thing! If you're reading this blog and haven't heard Carrie, you're going to like her music, you can trust me on this. But don't take my word for it: go here and check her out. To make it even better, profits from the concert go to support the Shirley Martin Scholarship, a scholarship that's given to young songwriters each year by the Songwriters' Association of Mid-north Indiana. You can find out more about this scholarship hereAnd if you can't make it to any of the places that have concert tickets, let me know and I'll be glad to send the tickets to you. If you're a songwriter yourself, the workshop is well worthwhile, as Carrie Newcomer is certainly one of the best songwriters around. Don't wait to sign up; spaces for this are limited.
Some lucky person from the Songwriters' Association of Mid-north Indiana will take this beauty home tonight. It's our annual white elephant gift exchange and I found this hidden away in a compartment of my old roll top desk. It's from Fort Walton Beach, Florida circa 1973 and was given to me when I transferred from Hurlburt Field to Langley AFB.
Aside from being the very Tiffany of tacky and the Cartier of crap, this dandy little item was made back the heyday of American industry, back when we didn't need any foreign country to make our junk for us, and could handle the job ourselves, thank you very much.
And just in case you're wondering, the term "white elephant" comes from the old kingdom of Siam. White (they're not really white, but sort of a lighter grey) elephants were the property of the king, who would sometimes reward a subject with the gift of a white elephant. Of course, taking care of the critter wasn't easy; not only did you have to feed and water your royal gift, can you imagine cleaning an elephant litter box? Not fun, and not inexpensive, either. Hence the term "white elephant". Oh, yes...when the King of Siam heard that Abraham Lincoln didn't have any elephants to use in the Civil War, he offered to send a few Lincoln's way. Lincoln wisely declined the offer; a good thing, as otherwise I'm sure we'd still have an Elephant Corps complete with various procurement agencies, an Elephant Fodder Control Board and a half dozen or so Congressional committees to insure the US stayed up-to-date on the military use of elephants.
Did you ever notice how closely Sarah Palin resembles an older version of Moaning Myrtle, the ghostly character from the Harry Potter movies? Separated at birth, I think. Or would that be separated at death? In any event, we can tell them apart because one is entirely without substance, a phantom conjured by imagination and the tricks of a special effects department. The other is a fictional British ghost.
Predicting trends and fashions in popular music is even more difficult than predicting the stock market. In fact, I'd guess that there are only about two constants in popular music: 1) The older generation will always think the younger generation's music sucks (they will also think the kids dress weird, but that's another story) and 2) No matter what changes are made in recording technology, the music industry will always see the newest technology as the end of their profits and, by extension, the end of the industry. This, for the most part, started with the reel-to-reel tape recorder, as earlier formats such as wax cylinders and 78-, 45- and 33 1/3-rpm records couldn't be copied without more equipment than most people had.
The reel-to-reel tape recorder changed all of this, and if you were inclined to believe the music industry, this device was going to do them in. Somehow, the industry managed to hang on through the evolution of the cassette recorder and even the dreaded, tape-eating eight track, making more profits every year, only to find themselves faced with something even worse: digital audio tape. Now, back in the day, CDs were no big deal. Nobody had the gear to copy a CD at home, but with digital audio tape it was quite possible to copy a CD to tape and maintain good quality, too. Remember, this was back when even popular music had a melody and the quality of the recording was reasonably important to most people. The music industry was so upset by this awful DAT stuff and it's potential for (once again) ending their profits that they managed to work things out so there were two incompatible standards for DAT: one strictly for studio use and one for home use. I've used the studio standard at a radio station; it was fine but nothing remarkable and it was soon eclipsed by PC CD burners and the like. I might have seen one or two home DAT rigs in stores, but I wouldn't swear to this. How many of you have ever seen a DAT recorder/player?
The advent of PC CD burners was, of course, the final blow to the recording industry when this was coupled with a fast internet that allowed music file sharing and devices such as MP3 players that allow a huge quantity of music to be stored in and accessed from very small and inexpensive devices. And today; well, you might think the recording industry is just about on its last legs, but oddly enough that doesn't seem to be the case. And here's something else to think about: right now, you as a listener have access to more types of music than ever before. And if you happen to be a musician, it's never been easier to record and distribute your music. You don't need a studio as such, you don't need an agent and you don't need a contract with a large company to put your stuff out where the whole world can hear it (you still need to spend some money on good microphones, though).
I'm not a big fan of the MP3 format myself, and even being half deaf I can still tell the difference between an MP3 and a .wav file. Particularly when the MP3 file is being played through speakers the size of peas. Keep the technology coming: the recording industry, like every other industry, will simply have to take its chances and see if they can keep selling the kids that awful crap they all listen to these days while they're hanging around wearing those weird pants. Sorry, sorry. I wasn't going to say that...
For the best part of 66 years, I've been pretty good at dodging the docs and staying out of hospitals. But in the end, chaos and entropy always win and I'm now the proud owner of a pacemaker. This isn't a technology I've kept up with over the years, and I can tell you I was mighty pleased to discover that modern pacemakers are no longer the size of a 1956 Buick hubcap and are no longer powered by house current or nuclear batteries.
The rig I've got is a Medtronics Versa dual-chamber rate responsive pacemaker. It's a small (roughly the diameter of a fifty-cent piece and about as thick as two fifty-cent pieces) titanium widget with a built-in lithium ion battery and a couple of leads that run to my heart. What makes this a particularly nifty design is that it doesn't just sit there and keep my heart beating a 60 pulses a minute, but will set the pacing, depending upon requirements, to between 60 and 130 pulses per minute. The sampling rate, for those who like technical details, is 120 milliseconds. This means I could take on a whole dojo full of martial artists and still have plenty of blood flow to my brain. Actually, having enough blood flow to my brain will insure I won't try anything this stupid so you can relax, Steve. And you can even check the function remotely, using a small bit of comm gear that's connected to a telephone.
It took about an hour and a half to implant the device and fish the leads (the doc did this via an x-ray camera rather than using a fish tape); it was done under a local and just enough happy juice to make sure I didn't much care what was happening. I seem to recall discussing how to defuse a 750-pound variable time-delay fuse bomb with the doctor and his pit crew, but I suppose they've heard most everything. And who knows; they may need to know this someday. Sure hope I got the details right.
When you add in the cell phone charger, broadband WiFi antenna, USB port and the small keyboard that will handily fit in your shirt pocket, you have to admit that this is a pretty amazing device. You didn't really believe all of that, did you? No, I still can't get a broadband signal, and you can't really use a pacemaker for IM. Which is probably a good thing, if you think about it. I don't want any messages from Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin or space aliens. Oh, wait...Sarah Palin is a space alien.
